What not to say to someone trying to conceive
Saying nothing or the wrong thing can hurt a woman going through the already emotional upheaval of infertility. This crash course in infertility etiquette can help you lend a sympathetic (and sensitive) shoulder.
Mary Hinckley, MD, a reproductive endocrinologist at the Reproductive Science Center in the San Francisco Bay area, stresses the importance of acknowledging a situation as life-altering as infertility. “At some point, the fertile friend should address the issue in private by telling her friend struggling with infertility that she cannot begin to understand how hard it is but that she is available to talk about the situation,” Hinckley says.
Beyond lending an ear, Dr. Hinckley also recommends spending quality time with your friend. “Get a baby-sitter for your kids, and go out to a movie or to dinner or join a jogging club or yoga class together,” she suggests. “Psychological studies show that distraction can sometimes be the best strategy for infertility sadness in the short term.”