Single Mothers by Choice

“RSC is a place of hope where one enters as an individual and leaves as a family. I recommend RSC to my friends all the time. I don’t think you can find a better fertility clinic anywhere in the U.S. I really believe they can help anyone achieve the dream of parenthood.”

–Monique M.

 

At RSC, we feel that the choice to become a parent is an individual one, which is why RSC welcomes single women who want to use assisted reproductive technology to begin their families.

“Women today are under a lot of pressure to find a suitable spouse before time runs out on their biological clocks. As women become more secure in their careers they are less willing to wait, even if it means going solo,” says RSC’s Dr. Susan P. Willman.

  • About one in ten of Dr. Willman’s patients is a single woman, compared to just a handful a decade ago. If they cannot find their partners “in time,” women are increasingly willing to start their families and hope to find their mates later.
  • RSC pledges its support throughout the process, from providing referrals for the best agencies for donors, legal and psychological support, and coordinating the finest care.
  • Not all fertility practices admit single women for treatment, although the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) ethics committee states, “As a matter of ethics, we believe that the ethical duty to treat persons with equal respect requires that fertility programs treat single persons… Unless other aspects of the situation…such as serious doubts about whether they will be fit or responsible child rearers or the fact that the program does not offer anyone a desired service…”

 

Single motherhood today

Childbearing by unmarried women has increased to historic levels, according to the most recent data from the Center for Disease Control National Vital Statistics Report. Nearly four in 10 babies born in the United States were born to single mothers. Of 4.3 million total births nationally, 1.7 million were to single mothers.

Rosanna Hertz, author of “Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice: How Women are Choosing Parenthood Without Marriage and Creating the New American Family,” estimates that approximately 2.7 million American women are single mothers by choice.

Challenges of single parenting

Many single mothers by choice would prefer to bring a child into the world with two loving parents. Single parenting is a challenge. Some of the many complex issues to consider include:

  • Financial. Most single by choice mothers want to have sufficient income, (as is also true for most couples who are planning families.)
  • Psychological. While having an involved father is ideal, some women who have not found a suitable partner consider it more responsible to have a child alone than to marry simply for the sake of having children.
  • Social. Single mothers need to expand their community, find male role models for their children, schedule regular breaks from parenting, and build robust support networks.

 

Monique’s story

“I have always dreamt of being a mother and started considering single motherhood after decades of unsuccessful relationships…I tried IUI, but was diagnosed with ovarian reserve failure and would not be able to use my own eggs. I was devastated and didn’t know where to turn. Then I was referred to RSC.”

“Everyone, from the receptionists to the nurses to the doctors, was so positive and welcoming. I was so accustomed to hearing negative things about how my body wasn’t doing what it needed to do, but at RSC I was always reassured that the doctors had a solution for any problem, and they did. The people of RSC were amazing, nurturing, and caring folks who honestly want to create families. They understand that families come in many forms, including same-sex and choice mom families like my own….” Read more>>

Single parenting resources

Choice Moms, an online resource, was founded by Mikki Morrissette, author of “Choosing Single Motherhood: The Thinking Woman’s Guide.” Choice Moms also produces special events and activities that provide guidance and support to single mothers and their children.

Single Mothers By Choice, founded by Jane Mattes, C.S.W., a psychotherapist and single mother by choice, is an advocacy organization that provides information, resources, and an international support network.